The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
