i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
