Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize