Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
she smelled like a LAN party
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
