what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
