Pappa wants mamma naked
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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