coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
