I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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