in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
