I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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