Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
