I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize
