Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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