I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
