I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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