Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
