she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
