you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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