I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
