he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
