I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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