I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
