I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
