What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
