I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize