Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
