this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
