What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
