I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
