Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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