Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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