if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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