wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
