my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
