fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
