So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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