Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
