It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
