I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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