Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Randomize
