Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
We're like a lot better than the average bears
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
