Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I wish my penis had an off switch
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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