Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
