Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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