C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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