why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
