No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
