but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
