You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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