It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
