she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
