The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize