Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
