In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
my sisters under your porch take her home
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize