Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
