mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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