Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize